Notes in Between

We spend enormous amounts of energy searching for love, while often neglecting the person we will spend our entire life with: ourselves. Romantic relationships can give us intimacy, care, and belonging, but they cannot replace the relationship we have with our own thoughts, limits, mistakes, needs, and changing sense of self. We put a lot of meaning into romantic relationships. A partner is not simply someone we love. They are often expected to be our closest friend, our sexual partner, our co-parent, our emotional support, our person to call when something goes wrong, and the person who stays with us through the rest of our lives. Being in a relationship is also often treated as a kind of social achievement. Being single can be associated with freedom and independence, but it can also carry the implication that something has not yet worked out. We are expected to eventually be chosen by someone, to build a life together, and to find the person who will become our home. There is nothin...